preaching in bethel baptist church last sunday was... not very good.
i felt better about my first time preaching at seremban efc about 3 months ago. i'm not sure if it was actually qualitatively better; just that it felt better. i think that's because it was my first time preaching - psychologically, there was a sense of taking the leap of faith, stepping into new uncharted territory, breaking out of my comfort zone and overcoming my fears victoriously (or nervously).
i added the word 'nervously' in brackets because i got the recording of that first preaching and listened to it, and i sound incredibly nervous. rather like a small boy who's been caught for doing something wrong. and i kept on saying 'err, yeah'; a nervous vocal tic that i have to watch out for in future.
anyhow, there was a sense of euphoria and victory after that first time preaching; like, 'yeah! i did it! i preached my first sermon! woohoo!!!'
i was actually less nervous this time 'round; however, i felt worse after the event. the message seemed so much better when i was preparing it! i guess that, with this second-time preaching, i am no longer have the position of 'mr. first-time preacher' to buoy and support me; now, i am merely a young, inexperienced, rather unskilful preacher. what a letdown.
this preaching thing is difficult!. i bet some of you readers have thought to yourselves before, 'hah! i could be a pastor; it's so easy! just talk for half-an-hour to forty-five minutes once a week. no problem!' well, fyi, the pastor has A LOT of other duties apart from preaching on sunday; and even the preaching part of it isn't as easy as it looks!
this passage from the introduction of F.B. Creddock's book 'Preaching', sums up where i am now: "...learning to preach is difficult, and the difficulty is not greatly relieved by having a skilled instructor or by the discovery that one seems to be naturally a 'good talker'. the fact is, preaching itself is a very complex activity...". sighz...
please pray for and with me as i strive to learn and grow in this area. i trust that, by God's grace, even i can learn to preach... and preach well.