i want to die.

no no no, not in a suicidal way. this is what i'm talking about:

"i tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." - John 12:24

i guess all of us have something that we need to die to. a part or extension of ourselves which is not in line with what God wants for us, or a desire that threatens to develop into a lustful obsession, or a thing which is becoming more important to us than God.

some people have to die to DOTA.
some people have to die to shopping.
some people have to die to porn.
some people have to die to a dream, of being or doing something that they're not called to be or do.
some people have to die to calculative selfishness.
some people have to die to arrogant pride.
some people have to die to ____________

you fill in the blank.

just like anyone else, i have my fair share of struggles. sometimes things which are supposed to die insist on coming back to life though we kill them again and again. so tiring.

nevertheless, we do not give up, because the promises of God's Word are Yes and Amen. in Christ, the victory is already won. in that sense, we have already died; and yet, we must die daily.

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20

do you want to die? =)

p.s. kepong baru scf camp was... interesting. i'll post about it later, when i get the pics. in the meantime, u can read firsthand camper accounts here and here. =)